The Life and Times of Nolapete

Weekend is Almost Here!

2012-01-27T13:21:00.001-06:00

This has been such a long week even though it is the third of the year that I have not worked a full week. The first week of the year I was off in observance of New Year's holiday and took off to go up to Natchitoches deer hunting with my cousin, so that was a 3 day week. The second I had two doctor's appointments, so that was a 3.5 day week. This week I had another doctor's appointment, so last week was my only full week of work for the year.

My friend's dad had to go to the hospital on Wednesday, so we postponed our drywall work until Saturday. Hopefully, we'll be able to get everything done in that bathroom except for painting and installing the cabinet and sink. I'll be glad to have that bathroom finished. Tonight, I'm going to remove the toilet, install the tile on the floor, and get everything else together that we need to get the job done.

I've been working on the Breeders Awards Program for the Southeast Louisiana Aquariums Society. I based it off of the North American Native Fishes Association and Ohio Cichlid Association BAP guidelines documents. I think that the program can help develop SELAS into a better organization and involve more of the members. We'll certainly see as the year goes on.

Weighed myself at the doctor's office yesterday to get a baseline weight: 245.6

Childbirth Class

2012-01-25T08:35:00.001-06:00

Last night's childbirth class was on infant care. It is simply amazing the things that you learn about in these classes even when you've already had children. The actual reason to use A&D ointment on the baby's skin is to make the poop easier to get off of them. I always thought it was only to protect their skin from diaper rash.

I didn't know (or remember) that you can only sponge bathe a baby until their umbilical cord stub falls of. Neither of us knew that you should bathe a baby in sections and dry each section before moving on to the next. I didn't know that meconium was swallowed amniotic fluid. I always thought it was like a cork in the baby's butt.

A lot of the things we did know though and weren't surprised with. It's really like being a parent for the first time again since it's been so long for me and it is my wife's first child.

Tonight, my friend is coming over to help me drywall the downstairs bathroom. Oh what a relief it will be to have my wife happy that it is finally done after over a year of sitting gutted. I had initially started tearing out the drywall after the hot water heater leaked and wicked up the wall and destroyed the vanity cabinet. My friend who is coming over to help was my best man and I couldn't have picked anyone better. He's helped me with so many projects.

Tomorrow is yet another doctor's visit to my ophthalmologist to get my left eye checked and get another injection of Avastin. It's the lesser of the two drugs that I get every other week (Lucentis is the other) in an attempt to stabilize my eye after having a retinal artery occlusion July 19, 2011. Hopefully, things will be better to the point of him extending my appointments to once a month instead of every two weeks.

I did however have a ghostly or wispy looking capital G start floating around in my eye a few days after the last injection of Lucentis. I thought at first it was just one of the bubbles that appear after some injections that go away after a few days. This isn't going away and is very unnerving every time it moves. It follows my pupil wherever I move my eye. Sometimes I can focus on it, but most times it is like a shadow.

The house is getting cleaner as we continue to work together to declutter as much as possible and stay on top of things. I didn't get to do my 5 in 25 plan the past two nights, but hope to get back to it tonight after my friend and I finish the bathroom.

Reality Check

2012-01-24T08:50:00.000-06:00

Sunday I went to have some blood drawn for a lipids test ordered by my doctor to check my cholesterol levels. She was concerned about my last cholesterol levels, so she had said to start taking Omega 3 at the end of October. I have been taking Omega 3, 6, 9 for the past couple months once daily, but I think I need to switch to just Omega 3 and to do that three times a day as indicated on her October message.

I received my cholesterol results this morning and was not to happy to see that she wants to put me on Lipitor. I refuse to take that drug based on the many side effects listed. Almost all of us have seen the commercials for Lipitor and similar drugs. Sure, they promise the world in regard to reducing cholesterol, but at what price. Robin Williams Fukitol video says it all.

I'm not saying that I don't need to do something about my cholesterol and don't take for granted that it is indeed a serious health issue.

Total Cholesterol Ratio: 5.8 (2-5 range)
HDL: 35 (40-75 range) Optimal >60
HDL Cholesterol Ratio: 17.2 (20-50 range)
Cholesterol: 204 (120-199 range) 200-239 is borderline high
Triglyceride: 249 (30-150 range) 200-499 is high
LDL: 119 (63-159 range) less than 130 is optimal

As shown above, I need to work on this.

In October, this is what they were.

Total Cholesterol Ratio: 5.8 (2-5 range)
HDL: 41 (40-75 range) Optimal >60
Cholesterol: 198 (120-199 range)
Triglyceride: 156 (30-150 range) 150-199 is borderline high
LDL: 126 (63-159 range) less than 130 is optimal

I honestly think that some things that I may have eaten in the past week before the recent test threw off the numbers, especially the Triglyceride. I'm unwilling to take on the potential risks and side effects with that in mind and will be calling my doctor this morning.

The latest on the home front is that we just reached 10 months of being married and have a baby due in mid May. We've been working on the house trying to get it completely organized before the baby arrives. It's lots of hard work considering we're combining my stuff, her stuff, and the stuff she took from her Dad's bakery before he sold the building (they lived in part of the building when she was a child).

I read something a while ago about spending 5 minutes a day in each room doing as much as you can. I have set out to get the kitchen, dining room, living room, her bathroom, and our bedroom touched on a daily basis and kept immaculate (as possible for us). It's my 5 rooms in 25 minutes plan. I think that if I can keep those 5 rooms done during the week, it'll make it easy to do thorough cleaning in those rooms and get more rooms done to add to my plan.

We're starting to really mesh together as a couple in just about every area of our relationship. Finances, while tight and a struggle for us, have become less of a source of tension between us. We're working together now and making decisions together. We have a deep hole to dig out of, but we're doing it. Some day we'll look back at this time and hopefully be able to smile and say we did it!

420 Day

2011-04-20T08:34:00.000-05:00

For a lot of people 420 Day is significant for it's designation for smoking pot. I choose to make this day about other things other than that. It's just another day in the scheme of things for improving my life and working on the many projects that I have to work on. It could be the beginning of the countdown towards having our homestead up and running or some other significant undertaking. It could be the amount a month I would like to make from our involvement in the farmers market.

This is the second day I have taken the ten flights of stairs up to my office instead of the elevator. In my quest to lose weight to reduce my blood pressure, this is significant progress. Before, I would make excuses and put it off for another day. No longer do I have that choice if I want to stay off of medication. My doc gave me four more weeks to work on losing weight and lowering my blood pressure on my own. I'm determined that by the time I go back in to see her that my pressure and weight will be significantly down.

One Month Married

2011-04-18T11:06:00.000-05:00

The amazing thing about life is that it goes by so quickly when you're not paying attention; and even when you are it does anyway. It's been two months since I last wrote anything here and one month since my wife and I tied the knot.

We waited nine days after the wedding to depart on our cruise out of New Orleans on Norwegian for seven days. Our ports of call included Costa Maya, Belize, Roatan, and Cozumel. Roatan was by far our favorite and we hope to return there sometime soon.

Married life isn't that much different than living together while we were dating other than that there is no more waiting. We indeed waited until our wedding night and it was the best thing we could do for our relationship. We believe that our relationship is so much stronger and that it was definitely worth the wait. Taking sex off the table encourages development of all the other areas of a relationship.

We're still trying to get the house put back together and find places to put everything away. It's a monumental task on top of the normal day-to-day lists of things to do. We've taken the approach of doing a little every day and making sure to go to bed at a decent time. We will eventually get it done and we have the rest of our lives to do it.

Saturday, we went to the Gretna Farmers' Market for our second time and enjoyed it as much as the first time. We're going to try to get involved as a produce vendor in the not so distant future. It's something that I have wanted to do for a long time and it's great to have a wife who is interested in participating as well.

Four Weeks and One Month at the Same Time

2011-02-18T12:18:00.000-06:00

Our wedding is four weeks away and at the same time it is one month away! It is so hard to believe that we have been together for almost eleven months and that we are so close to becoming husband and wife. There is still lots to do to prepare for the wedding and many things to check off the list prior to being married.

Sometimes I think it would have been easier to just have gotten married in a small ceremony or simply eloping, but it is her first wedding. I don't mind all of the planning, but I don't want it to be a stressful time for her. It is really not worth it if she is not going to be happy and enjoy it.

Yesterday, my best man and best friend (one in the same) came over to the house to help me with some plumbing and electrical that I needed done. I am always amazed at how many different things he knows how to do. My father wasn't that type and I never learned those skills up until now.

I am confident that I can do a whole lot more due to our friendship than I had previously over the course of my life. He will always be one of my best friends. We still have more work to do on the projects we worked on, but we made substantial progress.

This weekend I hope to work in the yard and garage during the day and in the house after dark. The list is immense and there is not a lot of time to do it all. The more I get done before the wedding the more I will be able to enjoy our time off afterwards together.

Busy Weekend, Efficient Postal Service, and Moving Mountains

2011-01-31T13:41:00.000-06:00

Theresa mailed the wedding invitations sans three that I mailed this morning and a few others that we need to send out on Friday around 4 pm. Surprisingly, a lot of people received them in the mail on Saturday; less than 24 hours after they had been sent out. Here's to an efficient postal service! I suppose that they aren't too busy during this time of year, so the mail speedily gets to its destination. Nonetheless, we received a couple calls on Saturday about my name change that alerted us to the expedient delivery.

For those of you who don't know, I opted to change my name and take Theresa's last name instead of her taking mine. Her name means a lot to her and mine meant nothing to me. I've wanted to change it since I was 15 years old shortly after my parents divorced. Unlike one of my sister's, I had no relationship with my father and had no desire to carry his name. Until now, I had no legitimate name change opportunity, so I just left it as it was. Everything works out the way it's supposed to if you give it time. I couldn't be happier and can't wait until we're married, so that I can use my new name even though legally it has already been changed.

Theresa's cousin and his wife stopped by on Saturday for a visit and picked up the four wheeler to get it running for us to be able to sell it. I really like them and enjoy spending time with them. They've invited us several times to go do stuff with them, but for one reason or another we haven't been able to. Hopefully, after the wedding that will change. Her cousin suggested that we go to the camp in Myrtle Grove for my bachelor party. It sounds like a blast to me, so I'm looking forward to the possibility.

There was a mountain of laundry to do this weekend. Where it comes from, I have no idea at all. It seems like there are invisible forces at work making all the clothes dirty then piling them up. Theresa tackled the actual washing and drying chores while I worked on the folding, hanging, and putting away part. Together, we just about finished all of it. There's a load or two still left to be folded and put away and a load or two left to be washed. I'm wondering what it's going to be like when we have children in addition to just the two of us.

We managed to get a lot of the house cleaned up and moved most of the extra stuff into one of the bedrooms. There is still an immense amount to do. I hauled eight or so loads of dirt from the pile near the pond and filled in some of Hunter's holes in the yard. It doesn't seem like I even made a dent in what needs to be done back there in preparation for the growing season. The pool is green from the leaves that have accumulated, so I made an attempt at getting some of those out. We also pulled up the remnants of our pepper garden.

On the list for this week:

Go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond Tuesday night to register more gifts
Take Daisy to get her shots Wednesday night
Work on gutting the downstairs bathroom
Patch the leak in the garage roof by the power ventilator
Mop the floors and stairs
Finish moving all the extra stuff to the bedroom

Theresa picked up our rings from her mother's and commented on how huge mine looks next to hers. One thing less on the list of things to do for the wedding. Tonight, we'll probably go over the list in the wedding book and see what we need to get done.

Earlier today, I worked on my taxes and pretty much completed them. It's really easy with H&R Block's free online tax software. The sad part is that my return will be less than half of last year. Refinancing to a lower rate really reduced the amount of interest I paid last year. I'm still waiting on two documents from Capital One to be able to finish and file. I like to get my taxes done early. We're definitely going to have to get busy after the wedding working on making some deductions for next year!

Garage Sale, Rings, Invitations, and a Daisy

2011-01-28T12:00:00.000-06:00

After many months of procrastination, we finally had our garage sale last Saturday, January 22, 2011. It would be great to say it was a smashing success, but the truth of the matter is that it was a dismal failure. We only saw about a dozen or so people total stop by and our total haul was under $80!

One sale, my Tony Little Gazelle Crosstrainer, fetched $40 of that. Considering I paid close to $200 for it, I wasn't impressed. Then we had to deduct the $10 permit fee from our total, so over half a day spent out in the cold for a whopping $70. It was so NOT worth it and I don't think we'll be having another one anytime soon, if ever. Glad we advertised for free online rather than paying the $23 to advertise in the paper.

We, mainly Theresa, moved the remaining pile to the curb and picked through the things she couldn't see going in the trash to give them away. I had said that if it didn't sell it wasn't coming back in the house, so the large majority of it went in the trash. I posted an ad in the free section on Craigslist and we had a few people who responded.

Most of the items that we were dreading going to the dump were taken. Lots of things still went in the trash and I was amazed that the garbage men picked up every single thing we had piled on the curb including a huge chair. The thought that I had on the whole thing was that when you buy something then get your use out of it until it's no longer useful to you it is ok to throw it away even though it is still in good condition.

Theresa's mom works for a jewelry store, so we had gone by there to purchase our rings since we would receive a very good discount on them. I had a little trouble understanding that the manager wasn't saying that I had to purchase my ring sight unseen. He had come across like I had to rather than Theresa explaining that I could order it and if I didn't like it I didn't have to buy it.

Sometimes I get a bit flustered the way she presses me about things and doesn't fill me in. Her ring was a perfect fit, so it only needed to be cleaned and then she was done. I opted to go with the only ring I really liked and ordered it in my size. When I went into the store to try it on after it had come in, I was pleased with my decision.

The invitations list took at lot of time to type into the computer in Excel for the mail merge into Word to print the address labels. Neither of us have legible handwriting, so hand addressing them was out of the question. It's said to be against invitation etiquette to do so, but we don't really care about any of that. We went ahead and inserted gift registry information in with the invitation. We chose to do inexpensive invitations, though we were quite pleased with the way they look, since we're paying for everything for the wedding.

They only have one envelope and aren't extremely fancy. Theresa thinks it's a very green way of doing the invitations which sits well with both of us. They go out today and total around 125 guests more than the max we're allowed. Approximate 65 or so will definitely not be coming, so the 75% of the remaining who do actually show up should put us close to our max allowed. There are a few more invitations that need to be added, but for the most part they are done. Two more things off the list.

For a very long time, probably four years or more, I have been wanting a piebald longhair dachshund female. My sister breeds dachshunds on the hobby level, but has never had one available. Theresa found one on Craigslist for free. She isn't a longhair, but she's sweet as can be. Her name was Heidi, which is my estranged sister's name, so we changed her name to Daisy. I had found a Daisy Duck figure in the yard the next day after the garage sale.

She has adapted to living with us and Theresa's dog Hunter. They get along very well and play together out in the yard. I installed a doggy door big enough for Hunter to come in and the new little hot dog to as well. It helps with Hunter to have company so he doesn't look to get out of the yard. Daisy was an escape artist at her previous owner's house, so that's why they wanted to find her a new home. She's CKC registered, so we plan to breed her with my sister's piebald male once she gets his CKC registration done.

Daisy

Closer Than You Think

2011-01-19T12:56:00.000-06:00

This past Sunday was Theresa's bridal shower. Some of the bridesmaids chipped in together and threw it for her. It seemingly was a big success even though they forgot to include the registry information in the invitations. We, or should I say she since she claims they are all hers, received numerous gift cards from Lowe's, Home Depot, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond, gifts and even cash and checks. Surprisingly, there were only two gifts, crock pots, that weren't on our registry and somehow the word had spread with that information. I arrived near the end of the shower to visit a little while with family and load up the gifts.

Yesterday was the two month mark for the countdown to the wedding. The list of things that needs to be done for the wedding is disappearing even though it seems like we're busier than ever. Theresa always has something that she is working on related to the wedding. Honestly, the entire thing stresses me out and makes me wonder how we're ever going to get it done. This week's priority is to get the invitations out. I resolved the registry issue by putting together a little piece of paper that looks like this:

REGISTRY INFORMATION

Theresa likes it, so there we go with that problem solved. I know that you're not supposed to include anything on the wedding invitations or inserted indicating registry information, but too bad. We're paying for this ourselves and should get the most out of it that we can.

We really prefer to get the Home Depot and Lowe's gift cards since we're fixing up the house. The Bed, Bath, and Beyond items are luxury ones that we want and possibly need, but not things that we couldn't live without. I was happy to see that we received all the flatware we requested, so we added one more set of four to give a total of sixteen place settings. It was great to see that one item was already given from our list that I specifically wanted: the Ninja Blender!

Next weekend we're trying to have a garage sale. I hope that it actually happens so that the multitude of extra stuff we don't want or need will disappear. The agreement we have is that nothing goes back into the house once it's out for the garage sale. Either it gets sold, given away, donated, or put out on the curb. I'll be glad to see it all go. At this point, I wish that I could empty out the house, garage, and yard then only put back the things that we absolutely have to have. Slowly, but surely, one little step at a time things are getting done.

Two Months and a Week

2011-01-11T11:12:00.000-06:00

Time passes by so quickly when you are planning a big event such as a wedding. We were engaged September 7, 2010 and the subsequent four months since then have flown by at a break-neck speed. It is truly hard to believe that our wedding is two months and one week away!

There is so much to do related to the wedding, but even more not related to the wedding to do around the house. The stress of both has been weighing on both of us and this past weekend it reared its ugly head. Sunday night ended in a war of words over meaningless simple things that we let get the best of both of us. Thankfully, last night was much more pleasant and we were back to our normal loving selves.

The huge pile of laundry slowly began to disappear as I mounted my attack against it load by load. Theresa wasn't home yet, so I cooked some tilapia with onions and peppers and some brocoli with cheese while I waited for her. The dishwasher needed to be unloaded, so I did that between folding loads of laundry and picking up around the house. I kept smelling a fishy smell that wasn't related to me cooking fish, but I couldn't locate where it was coming from.

The bearded dragons all decided to take multiple dumps and filled the house with the distinct stench of reptile waste. I cleaned all of their cages and they continued the assault by taking another dump on the fresh paper towels. After cleaning the second round, I had enough of the smell and installed one of the plug in scented oil warmers in the reptile room. The fresh scent of linen started to permeate the foul cloud of reptile waste that lingered in the air.

Theresa had already eaten a meatball po' boy at her mom's house and wasn't hungry. We talked for a little while and loved on each other while apologizing for the previous night's war. She had some things to get out of the car other than the sinuata statice in lavender and purple that she had found for the wedding at Whole Foods. She brought in a beautiful and tall orchid plant for me. I'm guessing it was a peace offering, but I didn't say anything of the sort. She pressed me for my opinion of it because I just played it down that it was pretty and tall. I love orchids and have been wanting to start a collection of them for some time now.

We talked while she gave the bearded dragons their baths and I looked at the new Blaptica dubia cockroaches. Yes, I said cockroaches, Guyana Orange Spotted Roaches to be exact. Each sub-adult equals about ten crickets, so they are much better feeders for the bearded dragons than pretty much anything else.

We've tried mealworms and superworms which both have too much chitin and can cause impaction and other intestinal problems, so we want to steer away from them. Crickets are too smelly to raise and too expensive to buy. Reptiworms, black soldier fly larvae, are the highest in calcium content, but also are very expensive to buy. We plan to use the black soldier fly larvae as our composters in buckets modeled after BioPods. We'll probably sell the extras we have of both the roaches and BSF larvae.

After we were done with the bearded dragons, we went downstairs and watched the fish and talked for a little while. Theresa then discovered the source of the fish smell. One of the adult exCichlasoma bocourti had jumped out of the tank and was decomposing on the floor next to the tank. Thankfully, it had landed on the bare floor and not the carpet. Sad to see such a beautiful fish dead on the floor.

I had obtained twenty 1/4" fry from my friend Dan Woodland via a friend of his who had some of his original stock. I think the fry I obtained were either grand babies or great grand babies of the wild ones Dan had collected. At the time Dan wrote the article I linked above, the fish was classified improperly as a Herichthys species.

Dollars and Cents

2011-01-07T10:40:00.000-06:00

Just recently, I discovered the wonderfully insightful financial website, The Simple Dollar, and subscribed to the feed in order to get it in my inbox each time its author, Trent Hamm, posts something new. The wealth of information Trent has written since he started the site in 2006 is immensely helpful. It was a gem of a find as Theresa and I join our incomes and debts along with our lives when we get married in March. We've already somewhat been doing so since June when she moved in with me, but the transition is far from over with.

She's been handling the groceries and household supplies since she moved in, so that's been a huge help. She's also taking care of the truck note and insurance. The loan for the truck is from the credit union she belongs to. I'll be able to join it once we're married. We've been paying our own bills and I have paid the mortgage on the house and utilities as I was doing before she moved in. We both have debt that we want to reduce and have started working on a plan for paying down the higher interest debt first. Unfortunately, we're paying for the wedding and honeymoon, so some new debt will be incurred before we are able to make a mole hill out of this mountain.

Our plan, one that is common in get out of debt circles, was presented to me by the best mortgage advisor I've ever had the pleasure of doing business with Brandon Hambright at Advance Mortgage & Investment Company. He went way beyond the call of duty to help find me the best deal possible on a refinance last year. Even when SBA shot a hole in his original plan by not subordinating and not allowing me to take out more money, Brandon worked very hard to achieve the goals we had set. I'd recommend him to anyone looking for a refinance or new mortgage. I'd venture to say that there is no one that is as friendly, works harder, or more customer service oriented in the entire mortgage industry.

The plan is simple, but not easy to accomplish as most of us think that we should work on paying down the debt with the highest interest and/or balance first. The "snowball plan" as some call it focuses all resources on paying down the smallest debt first while continuing to pay the minimum payments required on all other debt. Once the smallest debt is paid off, the amount that was being paid on it can be added to the minimum payment for the next smallest debt and so on. This snowball effect works much the same way as it does when an actual snowball rolls down a hill. It gains momentum on the way down and the amount paid toward the next smallest debt grows by leaps and bounds.

We plan to start working on this after the wedding when life returns to somewhat normal. Along with Theresa's new business we've just started, breeding bearded dragons, we have a number of other ventures and ideas for supplementing our income, getting out of debt, and building the life we want together. My fish-related business, Fin S Aquatic Enterprises has been slow going, but I have a few new ideas in the works for that. My focus has been on helping Theresa with the bearded dragons and the other reptiles we have. I am working towards getting my aquaponics system going as part of the development of our homestead and micro urban farm.

Last year, we had a small pepper garden with fifteen plants; six hot mariachi, three carmen, three yellow bell, and three orange bell which produced a huge amount of peppers. This year we're planning to have a whole lot more peppers, since we actually have a clue about what we're doing now. Peppers need calcium and to be watered regularly otherwise they get blossom rot which causes large brown soft spots to develop on the peppers. I learned that the first blossoms should be pinched off in order to make the plants grow bushier and that they can be supported with strings run horizontally along either side of the plants. That seems to work much better than staking them.

Potatoes, shallots, collard greens, sweet potatoes, purple dragon carrots (and other purple vegees), and various other plants are on the list for this year. Theresa like to can preserves and make her own salsa, so that is driving a lot of what we plant. We're also planning on vermi-composting and composting with black soldier fly larvae and fertilizing with a chicken tractor. We both want chickens for the fresh eggs and will most likely go with Dominques for their unique black and white look.

We gathered a lot of seeds from squash and peppers that we ate and hope to sprout them as soon as the indooor aquaponics systems are in place on the 210 and 135 gallon aquariums. I'm using bus trays that we purchased from Sam's; six total, four on the 210 and two on the 135. I'm looking for some expanded shale to use as the medium in the trays which will incorporate bell valves made from pvc and 2 liter soda bottle halves. My Hubpages hub Easy, Profitable, and Idiot Proof Aquaponics: The Basics - Grow Plants in Media, NFT, or Raft (DWC) and Easy, Profitable, and Idiot Proof Aquaponics: The Equipment are good reads if you want to learn about aquaponics.

Our reptiles include box turtles, a Sulcata tortoise (African Spur Thigh) named Mac, two Russian tortoises named George and Romanov (really Romona since it's a girl), two Florida softshell turtles (had 3, but just lost one), five spiny softshell turtles, four river cooters, four redear sliders (one is about quarter size), three musk turtles, two leopard geckos (one leucistic and one normal), and five bearded dragons (3 boys, 2 girls). George, Romanov, and the two leopard geckos we acquired for free off of Craiglist and all but George had enclosure and other supplies included. The box turtles we acquired from two friends of mine. The female my friend Cory gave me, which turned out to be a Gulf Coast instead of Three-toed or Eastern like the others, has only three legs, so we called her tripod Trixie.

Along with these projects, my 4300 gallon indoor aquarium and 1500 gallon outdoor pond are on the list for completion. The pond will be part of the aquaponics system, so it is more important that it get completed, but the big aquarium is something we both want to see finished. It's been almost two years in the making and long overdue to be done.

Wedding Planning and for the Future

2011-01-06T10:28:00.000-06:00

Planning for our upcoming wedding in March has taken up a lot of Theresa's time over the past few months. People have come out of the wood work to help out with the things that we need done; flowers, decorating, and so forth. Since we're paying for this shindig ourselves, we need all the help we can get. Some things have been easier than others. A friend who does wedding planning helped out with finding the perfect reception hall for us. Theresa's uncle is supposed to do the food and her cousin is doing the cakes and some Italian cookies.

Some of her friends are doing a bridal shower for her on the 16th of January. Last night, we found out that they didn't include where we're registered with the invitations and that they didn't order enough invitations for the number of people Theresa wanted invited. This is a huge snafu on both parts; the latter easily resolved by just making copies of an invitation, but the other leaves us getting gift randomness.

We ordered the invitations from 123print.com which was less expensive than most of the other places I found online. It was easy to find a stock design that we liked. I actually picked out several and showed them to Theresa, but my first choice ended up being the one she liked as well. The most difficult parts were deciding on the wording since her parents are not paying for the wedding and I am taking her name instead of her taking mine. We ended up using what are married names will be and placing my former name in parentheses under my new name then used "request the honor of your presence as they are joined in Holy Matrimony" for the wording.

The whole name change thing came about after Theresa expressed hesitation to taking my last name. At first, I was indignant at the thought of her keeping her name and not using mine then she told me why. She reasoned that I didn't like or want my name, so why should she take it when her name means something to her and mine doesn't. She made absolute sense. We debated about the possibility of a hyphenated name which I shot down because I feel that hyphenated names show no commitment to the relationship except where there's a celebrity or notable author involved.

After some discussion, I offered that I could take her name instead of her taking mine. I don't think that she believed that I would actually do it and that to most people it would be weird. Surprisingly, her dad thought it was a good idea until his wife made him think otherwise. Some friends thought, or should I say think, I'm nuts for considering the possibility. I'd venture to say that some question my manhood, but I don't really care about that. One of her brothers was very approving while another and his wife thought it to be absurd and couldn't accept it thinking I was joking.

We decided that I should get my name changed prior to the wedding so that the marriage certificate would have the correct name and at the reception we could be announced correctly. The process for a man to take his wife's last name is completely different than for a woman to take her husband's. With the exception of a handful of states, the name change associated with a marriage is solely for the woman only via the marriage license. Most of the states do not have a check box to indicate which spouses name will be used for their life together.

In most states, a man must actually have his name legally changed in the court system. In Louisiana, this involves filing a name change request for $225 with the clerk of court then walking it over to the district attorney's office. It's $295 if you don't walk it over to the district attorney's office yourself. The district attorney decides whether or not he thinks that the request is legit, does a background check, and signs off on it either way. The primary reason for the district attorney denying the request is if the person has current criminal charges open. A birth certificate is required for the background check.

Once the district attorney signs off on the request, you have to pick it up from his office and bring it back to the clerk of court's office to be coded. From there you are sent up to the appropriate division to have the judge review and rule on it. After that, it's back to the clerk of court's office for the final processing and getting true copies for filing with all the agencies to use your new name.

The list of places where your name must be changed is bewildering. Vital records, driver's license, passport, employer, post office, creditors, banks, loans, social security card, utilities, frequent flyer accounts, mortgage, vehicle registration, registrar of voters, and so on. Most men have no clue what a woman goes through after they get married and changes her name. I surely didn't have a clue and I've been married before. Little did I know that I would be faced with doing the same thing. I'm glad that I did the name change. It is something that I have wanted to do since I was fifteen and my parents divorced, but I never had a legitimate reason or name, in my mind, to do so with.

Tuesday and Wednesday First Week of the Year

2011-01-05T11:11:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I stayed home from work to get some rest in an attempt to regain some energy after being sick since Christmas. It helped a lot to sleep most until noon and do much of nothing most of the rest of the day and evening.

About all I did was a water change on the 210 and the 55 gallon turtle tank then work on the latest puzzle we started. This one is another Ravensburger puzzle called The Dreamer's Trunk. We lost one of our baby Florida softshell turtles. It was sad to see the little guy floating. I didn't accomplish much else, but did help Theresa by cooking the chicken for her Chicken Suisa dish she'll make later tonight.

Today, I'm back at work and trying to stay busy to make the day go by faster. I managed to call Immaculate Conception Catholic church to see about getting a new copy of my baptism certificate. The Archdiocese requires a copy that is dated six months or less before the wedding date. I was also able to get on the Al's Formal Wear site and update the tuxedo choices. It was good to see that I still like the choices I made over a month ago.

Tuxedo selection for Theresa's dad has been a problem for me since I didn't want him to have the same vest and tie color (lapis) as the groomsmen, but I didn't want him to have black like mine as well. I decided to put him and the ringbearers in platinum vests and ties. They'll match and I think he'll be happy that he and his youngest grandsons are wearing the same. I'll be happy that I'm uniquely dressed. The only thing left is for Theresa to agree or disagree on it. I hope she agrees and likes the idea. Here are the tuxedo selections:

Jumping in Head First...

2011-01-03T12:34:00.000-06:00

The end of 2010 was marred by some type of viral infection that knocked me for a loop from the day after Christmas until today. My fiancee's brother, his wife, and two children were all sick with the virus and still attended the Christmas celebration at my future mother-in-law's anyway. Her brother's wife kissed me on the cheek and thus polluted me with the virus. Nothing my fiancee' and I had set out to accomplish during the time we were off from work between Christmas and New Year's was accomplished, although she did make some progress of her own on some other projects.

We are counting down to our wedding on March 18, 2011. There are many things to be done directly associated with the wedding, so that has been taking a lot of our time. The final step in the process required by the Catholic church is meeting with the deacon who is marrying us to discuss the results of the FOCUS evaluation. We have gone through the Re-marriage Seminar already. That opened our eyes to a lot of aspects of our relationship we hadn't discussed, but not surprisingly were in agreement on.

We are more determined than ever to get our house in order, clear out extra miscellaneous stuff, and start our homestead before the big day. That is no small task to be sure. Combining lives and possessions, even though we've lived together since June 2010, has been a lot of work. She has belongings at both of her parents' homes that we have slowly moved to our home. My own pack-ratted belongings that have been amassed over two and half decades took up most of the storage space in the house I purchased in 2002. Down-sizing and simplifying what we own is a huge priority.

This year will surely be the start of establishing our life together and making the house, our home, and moreso our homestead. Our little farm in the city, in Terrytown a suburb of New Orleans, Louisiana, will be the focus of our efforts. Our primary goal is to better utilize what we have to supplement our income and make our life a little more self-sufficient. Sustainability and frugal living are the goggles that color our vision for this year. Some of the many topics we'll focus on this year:

Breeding bearded dragons, various tortoises, and box turtles
Raising feeder insects
Operating aquaponics micro farm
Composting with black soldier fly larvae and worms
Building chicken tractor for egg production
Clearing backyard of useless plants, trees, and shrubs
Farmer's market participation
Indoor aquarium aquaponics
Turtle pond and tortoise enclosures
4300 gallon aquarium completion and operation
Breeding fish
Our experience extreme couponing
My HubPages writing
De-junking our house and subsequent garage sale
Creating storage when you're space challenged
Grid-tied solar power